 匪夷所思：对话“中美家庭夺女案”中的中国父亲(转载)
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对话“中美家庭夺女案”中的中国父亲
作者：大清国皇帝 提交日期：2007-1-28 20:44:00
对话“中美家庭夺女案”中的中国父亲2007-01-27 23:39:37 来源: 红网(长沙) 网友评论 7 条 进入论坛
核心提示:重庆男子贺绍强1999年在美国留学期间，和妻子罗秦生下了女儿贺梅，由于当时身处窘境，他们将女儿交给一对美国夫妇临时寄养，没想到这对美国夫妇从此拒绝归还。由此，引发了一场长达7年的“中美家庭夺女案”。
贺绍强：妻子在他家门外哭着要女儿时，他竟然叫来警察说我们是精神病患者。他们在当地很有势力，司法机关的许多人都是他们的朋友。孟菲斯法院的法官还是他的铁杆哥们，法院的记录里，我们还被称为“恐怖分子”。
昨日上午11时30分，美国田纳西州当地时间晚上9时30分，在旧金山岳东晓博士的帮助下，记者终于与贺绍强夫妇电话取得了联系。
“7年时间，所有的滋味都尝过了，让我心痛……好在这一切都过去了，永远会过去的。”电话那头，是搬动椅子的响声。贺绍强说，那是他的另两个儿女在房间里做游戏，再过不久的时间，贺梅回家后，他们三姊妹可以一起尽情玩耍了。
田纳西州的孟菲斯市(该州的第二大城市)，一间租住房，一个普通的华人家庭，经历了7年血肉情感的磨难后终于有了笑声。他们所经历的事件惊动了中国驻美大使馆、30万海外华人、包括《纽约时报》等世界所有知名媒体、好莱坞影片制作中心……有人甚至更直接地说：“这是一个普通华人对美国法律的挑战。”
“感谢岳东晓博士、中国驻美大使馆、两位美国律师，7年来，此时，我们终于可以真正地松一口气了。”贺绍强现在安心地在当地一家中国餐馆连锁店当经理。
暂时寄养孩子引发7年官司
潇湘晨报记者(以下简称记者)：你是怎样认识贝克夫妇的(抢夺女儿的美国人，他们有三个小孩)？
贺绍强：那是1998年年底的事，我妻子已经怀着贺梅。一个美国朋友在教堂里介绍认识的贝克，因为我妻子英文不好，但孟菲斯的教堂里可以学英语。正好贝克夫妇在那里，他们是世代基督徒。后来，我才知道，教堂里有一个“儿童领养中心”，贝克是要在那里领养小孩。后来发生的一切，都与这有关(一声长长的叹息)。
记者：第一次感觉贝克为人怎样？
贺绍强：还好，很有修养。因为大家都知道的原因(贺绍强被诬告性骚扰)，我才把女儿交给贝克暂时抚养。他们夫妇很好，很喜欢孩子。我当初还心存感谢，孩子真的幸运。
记者：贝克什么时候开始翻脸的？
贺绍强：女儿没有医疗保险，贝克夫妇提出纳入他们名下，可以解决将来看病费用的问题。1999年6月，妻子与贝克签订了一个临时抚养协议。我们的失误是抚养没标明时限。签了字后，我们去贝克家见女儿时，被他们阻止，他们说，我们不能见贺梅了，小孩属于他们的了。我以为是开玩笑的，没料贝克夫妇满脸凶煞。
法院记录里被称为“恐怖分子”
记者：当初见不到女儿时，你们怎么对付的？
贺绍强：妻子天天哭啊，到贝克家里要人，他就打电话报警。而且，他还说，他的年薪40万美元，如果我们还闹的话，可以请最好的律师，立即将我们送回中国。进不了贝克的家，我们只能在他家外面哭泣。
记者：母子连心，妻子思念女儿时，有什么特别的行为？
贺绍强：两个事情我一辈子不会忘记。一是，女儿两岁生日时，我们向贝克请求一家人照全家福，但贝克拒绝。1月28日，女儿生日，下雪。妻子做了一块纸板，上面写着“归还我们的女儿”。我在外面打工，直到下班时，才发现妻子在贝克家附近。我们两人都哭了。二是，我们知道贝克每天下午4点有带着小孩散步的习惯，妻子就躲在附近的一个加油站看着自己的女儿，20多天后，被发现，加油站也不准呆了(贺绍强要把话筒交给妻子罗秦，但记者听到女子的哭泣声，罗秦没接电话)。
记者：你们不停地起诉，贝克威胁过你们吗？
贺绍强：可以讲他们一刻也没停止过。妻子在他家门外哭着要女儿时，他竟然叫来警察说我们是精神病患者。他们在当地很有势力，司法机关的许多人都是他们的朋友。孟菲斯法院的法官还是他的铁杆哥们，法院的记录里，我们还被称为“恐怖分子”。我失去了孟菲斯大学的奖学金后，只能到餐馆洗碗，维持一家人的生活。突然，孟菲斯市30多家餐馆同时拒绝我当洗碗工。后来才知道是贝克写的恐吓信，说哪家收容了我这个恐怖分子，就会要立即关门。没法，我转到了亚特兰大打工。 (潇湘晨报)
最险的时刻差点被驱逐出境
记者：这么多年来，许多美国人都认为，你们不可能赢这场官司。你们与贝克的较量中，有没有最险的时刻？
贺绍强：有。2003年10月4日上午10点开庭，孟菲斯法院法官准备要把我们驱逐出境。9点30分时，移民警察还来了，就只等法官宣布了，就送我们上飞机。这一切都是贝克搞的。因为我们不是美国公民，也没有绿卡。就在法官要宣布前，一位秘书紧急将一份特快专递交到了法官面前。戏剧性的事发生了。原来，中国驻美大使馆参赞兼总领事邱学军一直关注我们的事情，他们专门给美国移民法官交了报告，意思是，我们的官司不结束，就不能把我们遣送。那是美国移民局特地给我们一个特殊的政策(听到了笑声)。好多人都在帮我们啊。
记者：有多长时间没看见女儿了？
贺绍强：三年多了。上一次，是在2003年9月，孟菲斯法院指定的一个法院办公室里见到的。我与妻子都哭了。我们好想女儿。
记者：贝克耽误了你们7年时间，但也看到他对你女儿爱的决心，回过头来，你怎么评价贝克夫妇？
贺绍强：贝克对我的女儿很好，照料得很好，可以讲是真爱。但是他的爱是极为自私的，带着占有欲，没顾及他人感受。当然，我还是会感谢他的，毕竟他们伤害的是我们，没有伤害女儿。
记者：你们胜诉后，你跟贝克打过电话吗？
贺绍强：没有。
记者：孩子什么时候回来？你准备怎样给她解释这段历史呢？
贺绍强：还要一个过渡期。孩子回来后，我们会回到湖南，估计是今年五月份。等孩子长大后，我会慢慢告诉她的，父母一直爱着她。
给女儿准备了三个月过渡期
按田纳西州的法律规定，最高法院将贺梅判给了贺绍强，但不能立即得到孩子。
岳东晓说：“相关手续还要从田纳西州法院移到孟菲斯法院，要点时间，但绝不是重新审理，理论上最快至少也要12天。”
贺绍强专门请了心理医生，医生建议用三个月时间让孩子逐渐适应从养父母到生父母的过渡。
贺绍强昨日在电话中告诉记者：“第一个月女儿留在贝克家里，我们去探望，次数逐渐增加；第二个月再把女儿接回家，允许贝克来看望，但次数逐渐减少；第三个月，终止贝克来看望。”
明天，1月28日，将是贺梅8周岁生日。贺绍强说在贝克夫妇家，贺梅将第一次与生父母、养父母一起过生日。
“帮他，因为我们都是华人”
远在旧金山的岳东晓益阳话溜得很
潇湘晨报记者曾鹏辉 长沙报道
正在美国旧金山的岳东晓昨天上午干脆用益阳方言与记者(记者老家也在益阳)交流。
“我是2002年从网上看到的贺梅案件，很震撼，我觉得要帮贺绍强，在当地媒体上，特别是当地法院的网站，我写了大量的文字对案件予以质疑。”
2006年10月4日，田纳西州最高法院的法庭上，已经电话联络了4年时间的岳东晓与贺绍强第一次见面。
“他很憔悴，但没有绝望。”贺绍强久久抓着岳东晓的手，说是用感激是不能表达的。
岳东晓不是律师，只是一位电脑兼物理博士。他用搞科研般的思维、逻辑，终于从案件中找到了破绽，让一直处于劣势位置的贺绍强终于彻底翻盘，赢得了官司。
“反正你不是律师，可以轻装上阵。”记者说。岳东晓立即驳回：“错了，我的压力还大些。”
岳东晓分析，一方是要确立美国的优越，一方是要树立中国的尊严。这是一场真理之战、道义之战。在美方，被认为是善良的美国人拯救被遗弃中国女孩的真情故事。好莱坞电影制作中心早已经盯上了这个题材，只待结果出来，就立马开拍。贝克的律师也正在用这个成功剥夺中国非法移民父母权的案子作为竞选田纳西州司法部长的资本。
“我跟贺绍强说，假如此案失败，你赔了女儿还将成为民族的罪人，一点也不夸张。真善美，假恶丑，胜者决定一切。我们每个华人都输不起的！”
在岳东晓接受案件5年的时间里，他多次从旧金山飞到3000多公里外的田纳西州最高法院，免费为贺绍强出谋划策。
根据田纳西州的法律，父母如果蓄意连续四个月没有探望小孩，或者蓄意四个月没有支付抚养费，则构成故意遗弃。
“贺绍强构成故意遗弃的条件都具备，这是导致他以前败诉的最主要原因。后来我所做的就是围绕这个找到论据来推翻。”
在田纳西州，岳东晓遇到了最强力的对手，贝克的律师帕立西，一个担任过10多年美联邦检察官、在当地最权威的律师——而且，“他与贝克的关系好得几乎是一个鼻子出气”——但还是被岳东晓打败了。
“这官司会不会就此彻底结束，贝克还会再翻盘吗？”记者问。
岳东晓很认真地说道：“他们要告的话，就只能是美联邦法院了，但这种再翻盘的可能性几乎为零，贺绍强可以开香槟庆贺了。”
许多街坊到贺绍强老家邵阳祝贺
本报长沙讯昨日下午，记者联系到了邵阳市贺绍强90岁的老父亲贺胜意。听到孙女终于判归贺家后，老人大声说：“我要我的孙女！”
贺胜意的大女儿贺合群说，这么多年来，年迈的父母亲一天都没放弃过要回孙女的想法，时不时要骂几句：“美国佬不要脸，人家的崽也要，又不是一个用的家伙，你要就拿走算了。”
贺合群说，父母亲退休后身体很健康、开朗，只是思念弟弟一家人时，就闷闷不乐。贺绍强共有四兄弟、两姊妹，他排在最末。
贺绍强从失去女儿到赢回女儿的悲喜经历，邵阳老家人全都知道了。这几天，许多街坊邻居都特意来祝贺。
尽管离贺绍强一家回来还有一段时间，但贺胜意已经开始张罗迎接他们了。
潇湘晨报记者曾鹏辉 (潇湘晨报)
作者：大清国皇帝 回复日期：2007-1-28 20:47:36
《洛杉矶时报》所提供的说法：
Tug-of-love or culture?
http://www.thestandard.com.hk/stdn/std/Weekend/GD23Jp04.html
A custody battle between the biological and adoptive parents of a Chinese girl in the United States is exposing more than a clash of legal opinion, writes Ellen Barry
Weekend: April 23-24, 2005
In a one-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Memphis, four members of the He family live with a ghost baby.
Anna Mae He gazes out, an infant with ribbons affixed to her silky hair, from studio portraits - the living room's main decoration. Beneath the photographs, two dresser-drawers are crammed with legal documents about her. Anna's brother Andy has been taught to say this about his sister: "Anna Mae has been kidnapped,'' says Andy, four, who speaks mostly in Chinese. "I will rescue her.''
In fact, Anna lives about 13 kilometers away, in the home of Jerry and Louise Baker, who have raised her since she was three weeks old. She is now a six-year-old who lines up her shoes in the closet with mathematical precision; at night, in moments of insecurity, she calls Louise to her side and asks, ``Mommy, can I smell you?''
Beside her bed is a T-ball trophy inscribed with her name.
Although the Bakers have tried to interest her in her heritage - a Chinese baby-doll, a red-brocade outfit - Anna squirms away. She wants to look like her blue-eyed sister, Aimee, five, with whom she has shared a bed almost every night of her life.
Now in its fourth year, the battle over Anna has become Memphis' painful parallel to the Elian Gonzales case; when it ends, the Hes, who are illegal immigrants, could be deported, and either the American family or the Chinese one will be separated from her forever.
The case has opened an angry split in this city; in a letter to the editor of The Commercial Appeal, one Memphian wrote, ``Since when did being a great American parent rate higher than being a so-so Chinese parent?'' Another fumed, of the Hes, ``If they want rights, then let them become citizens.''
At a trial last spring to determine Anna's future, the Hes' lawyer said his clients were misled into signing their daughter away and should be allowed to raise her. Circuit Judge Robert ``Butch'' Childers rejected that argument in a blistering decision: He found that the Hes had tried to trade their baby for profit or legal assistance, and that they had tried to reclaim her in a scheme to avoid deportation. Childers terminated their parental rights on the grounds of abandonment: They did not visit the child or provide child support for a four-month period.
The decision cleared the way for the Bakers to adopt Anna.
In an appeal last month, the Hes' lawyer, David Siegel, argued that the charge of abandonment did not fit his clients, who ``relentlessly persisted in their efforts at gaining the return of their daughter.'' Throughout the process, he argued, extraneous issues have been drawn into the courtroom. ``Whatever you may think of China,'' he said, ``the Hes have the right to raise her wherever they want.''
When the appeals court rules this summer, a network of the Hes supporters will be watching. A delegate from the Chinese Embassy in Washington has attended every hearing, and Chinese Americans have followed developments. Bruce Boyer, director of the Loyola Child Law Center in Chicago, got involved, he said, because the case falls into a pattern of decisions against disadvantaged biological parents.
``You don't let this kid grow up in the suburbs just because you think it would be in the best interests of the child. We don't do that in this country,'' said Boyer, co-author of an amicus brief in the case. ``We have a really hard time in this country distinguishing between poverty and neglect, and parenting and cultural issues.''
Louise and Jerry Baker live in a subdivision northeast of Memphis, with a fenced-in back yard and a minivan in the driveway. Louise, 43, is a Baptist preacher's daughter who always knew she would be a stay-at-home mom; Jerry, 46, is a mortgage banker from a big Memphis family.
In their care, Anna has grown to 1.04 meters. She returned from kindergarten on a recent morning energetically wiggling a loose tooth. With a sweet smile, she sprawled across Louise's lap, whispering a list of vocabulary words into her ear as if they were secrets.
The last few years have drained the Bakers' savings. To raise US$100,000 (HK$780,000) for their lawyer, they sold their house and moved into a leased home; three years ago, Jerry asked their oldest daughter, Heather, 22, to transfer to a community college to save tuition costs.
As for Anna, she shows little interest in her biological parents, whom she has seen only once since her second birthday, the Bakers said. But Louise suspects Anna knows more than she says. One day, Louise recalled, Anna turned the television on and spotted her baby picture on the news.
``It's all about me,'' the girl said quietly. ``It's all about me.''
In this case, as in a messy divorce, many facts are disputed. The central question is whether Jack He, 40, and his wife Casey, 36, knew what they were doing June 4, 1999, when they gave the Bakers legal custody and guardianship of their daughter.
The Bakers say the Hes asked them to raise Anna into adulthood and then reneged; the Hes say they believed the Bakers were taking care of her temporarily, as a favor.
``In China, very simple,'' Jack said recently. ``Either your children are your children, or they are abandoned in an orphanage.''
Shaoqiang He, a former English professor in China, came to the United States in 1995. Three years later, he enrolled in a master's program at the University of Memphis. Jack, as he is called in America, began asking friends to find him a Chinese wife of ``a certain size, a certain height, a certain age,'' and ``inferior to me in education, in ability, so I ... could enjoy the pleasure of teaching her,'' he said.
Qin Luo, who chose the English name Casey, sent photos of herself posing coyly on staircases, in parks, in the romantic glow of studio lighting. Pale, dreamy, with long, dark hair, she traveled more than 2,400km from the provincial city of Chongqing and waited for him at the Beijing airport, carrying a sign that read, ``I am here to meet Jack He.''
Casey's idea of America was based largely on the film Gone With the Wind. She spoke no English. When her plane touched down in Memphis on June 28, 1998, her first reaction was disappointment. ``It was not as beautiful as I thought,'' she said.
They were not married, although Jack had told the Immigration and Naturalization Service they were. She was already pregnant with Anna Mae.
Casey had been in America for three months when a Chinese graduate student accused Jack of attempting to rape her. The university stripped his job and scholarship. Jack said the woman falsely accused him after he refused to loan her money. In 2003, a jury acquitted him of sexual assault charges.
That winter, though, other Chinese immigrants took the side of his accuser, ``gossiping and backbiting,'' Jack said. Two months before Casey was due to give birth, the couple had a tussle with the husband of Jack's accuser. The Hes later pursued criminal and civil charges against the man, claiming that incident had caused Casey to give birth early. (Both cases were ultimately dropped.)
Anna was born January 28, 1999, with respiratory problems that confined her to the intensive care unit for 10 days. When she came home to her parents' apartment, ``they were very upset,'' said William Webb, 37, who befriended Jack through a church outreach program. ``I remember Casey looking at her and crying because she had been born premature.''
It was a chaotic time. Jack was worried about felony charges and the baby's medical bills. Casey recalled sobbing as she washed Anna for the first time, holding her awkwardly under the shower, terrified that she would hurt her. Jack sometimes thought adoption might be the best choice for the child, and persuaded Casey to put the child into foster care, he said.
``I reasoned with her: `You cannot drive, you cannot even speak English,''' Jack said. ``She got all her information from me.''
Their situation seemed to brighten when they met the Bakers through a Christian adoption agency.
Louise, warm and motherly, loved taking care of babies. She had recently had surgery to reverse a tubal ligation and they were planning to have a fourth child; she would become pregnant with Aimee within the year. In the meantime, they were taking in infants through an adoption agency, usually for days or weeks. They invited the Hes to their home to talk about taking Anna for 90 days.
``They had a need, and we were going to do it as a favor,'' Louise said. ``The first thing Jack said when he walked into our house was, `Will you take our baby?''' She warned him the arrangement was temporary.
The relationship was strained from the beginning, the Bakers said. Unaware of Jack's legal troubles, the Bakers couldn't figure out why he couldn't get a job. Casey, who was working 12-hour shifts at a restaurant, chafed at Louise's restrictions on the times she could visit her child.
The Bakers testified that Jack told them he wanted them to raise Anna to adulthood. Jack denies this; by the end of the three months, he said, ``I felt very guilty toward my wife'' for having ever considered adoption as an option.
With the foster period near an end, the Hes were still not ready to take their daughter back. They discussed sending the baby to China to live with relatives. In the final days, the Bakers testified, Jack and Casey told them they were planning to give Anna Mae to a lawyer representing them in their civil lawsuit. Siegel, the Hes' lawyer, calls this a ``wild and bizarre allegation that's never been substantiated.''
In the meantime, Anna remained with the Bakers and eventually the two families agreed on a very different plan: The Hes would sign a consent order giving the Bakers custody and guardianship. Such orders can only be overturned when biological parents convince a judge that their difficulties have been resolved and that reuniting them is in the child's best interest.
After that, regaining custody would be ``next to impossible'' for the Hes, Siegel said.
``We didn't trust them so much that if they wanted us to raise her for the rest of her life we would have said, `OK, let's do it,''' Jerry said. ``The only way we were going to do that was for it to be sanctioned by a court.''
Casey and Jack signed the papers June 4, 1999. But Casey had consistently resisted the idea of giving up the child permanently, and it has never been clear whether she understood the gravity of the document she was signing. The Hes weren't represented by their lawyer during the process.
``It seemed like she knew'' what agreements were being made about Anna Mae's future, ``but maybe not,'' said Richard Sevilla, the Bakers' pastor. ``I guess that's a big question mark, as far as what she knew.''
The day after the agreement was signed, Louise began documenting the Hes' visits in a journal. In October - when she believed the Hes were planning to leave Memphis - she described their interaction this way: ``They wanted to see if they could come and get Anna and keep her for the day next (Sunday). I told them No. She is too little to be away from us. Casey was very distraught, crying very loud ... We would like to get visits to every other week.
``We feel like they would wean away, but the last two visits we could see Casey is wanting to come more.''
About a year after the custody agreement, in May 2000, the Hes sought to regain custody of Anna Mae, which alarmed the Bakers. Casey's visits continued, but her feelings toward Louise had cooled; she stopped eating during her visits based on a traditional Chinese admonition against accepting food from an enemy, she said.
One day that summer, when Louise asked Casey to leave after a visit, Casey exclaimed that the Bakers were ``bad people, demons,'' and threatened to take the child away with her, Louise testified. Disturbed by Casey's behavior - ``she was foaming at the mouth in the house,'' Louise said - she called the police.
When a similar incident occurred in January 2001, a deputy told the Hes not to come back to the house. It was the last visit Jack and Casey made to the Bakers' house; they testified that they feared they would be arrested if they returned.
By this time, the Bakers were adamant that the Hes should not get Anna back. They filed to adopt Anna Mae in June 2001.
``There's lots of types of love,'' said Jerry. ``I mean, there's the kind of love where someone loves their car, or loves to eat pizza. I mean, she's always been nothing but a pawn, an object to them, to get what they want. And they are still using her to get what they want.''
Judge Childers released his decision in May. Much of the 72-page decision addressed matters of character. Childers described the Bakers as ``honest, straightforward, sincere,'' displaying ``an enormous amount of love, care and concern'' for their children and Anna.
He described Jack as a scam artist whose behavior was ``marked by deceitfulness and dishonesty, without remorse, repentance or conscience.'' Childers cited lies in Jack's past: About his income in a deposition; about being married twice to obtain a spousal visa; on a loan application for a vehicle in 2001.
The judge summed up Casey as ``an impetuous person not subject to being intimidated or deterred in achieving whatever she sets as her goal.'' Childers called her ``calculating, almost theatrical, in her actions.'' He faulted her for taking a job when she was not a legal resident of the US. He wrote that she ``appears to speak and understand English better than she professes'' and dismissed her tears on the witness stand as ``courtroom hysterics.''
The judge noted that the Hes' petitions to regain custody occurred ``in close proximity'' to Immigration and Naturalization Service calls about their immigration status. ``Mrs He only seems to be interested in regaining custody of (Anna) when deportation seems imminent,'' he wrote.
In the days after the decision, some critics complained that Childers never bothered to answer the question of whether the Hes were abusive or neglectful parents.
``If the Hes are as bad as Childers claims, why hasn't the Department of Children's Services taken their other two children away from them?'' wrote Wendi Thomas, a columnist for The Commercial Appeal. ``I'll tell you why. Because no American family is fighting to keep those children.''
As for Anna, Louise said, she is still traumatized by her memories of Casey's more emotional visits. When the family flew to California recently to appear on the Larry Elder Show, a Chinese American woman approached them in the studio and ``Anna just froze,'' Louise said. ``I mean, she's afraid of them,'' she said.
Thirteen km away, Andy and two-year-old Avita have covered the walls of the He apartment with crayon scribbling. Jack and Casey vow they will never stop fighting for Anna. Casey takes her encouragement from the Victor Hugo novel Les Miserables, whose heroine, Fantine, sacrifices herself for the sake of her daughter, Cosette.
Fantine sells her hair for 10 francs to buy her daughter a skirt; increasingly desperate, she becomes a prostitute. Fantine is about to be sent to prison when Monsieur Madeleine, the virtuous mayor, intervenes to return her child to her.
Casey had this in mind a few years ago, when Jim Rout, then-mayor of Shelby County, ate in a Chinese restaurant where she worked. She asked for his signature, and he signed a card for her, complimenting her on her good service. She brought this slip of paper back to their apartment, where she treasures it, although she is unsure what miracle it will bring.
作者：大清国皇帝 回复日期：2007-1-28 20:50:57
中国夫妇赢回女儿
http://www.sina.com.cn 2007年01月25日07:12 扬子晚报
当地时间23日，一场中美两个家庭之间长达7年之久的抚养权诉讼案有了令人欣慰的结果，美国田纳西最高法院做出判决，推翻曼菲斯县巡回法庭剥夺贺绍强夫妇对女儿贺梅抚养权的判决。据美国媒体24日报道，田纳西最高法院将在本周内将此案移交地方法院执行。他们将耐心等待地方法院的执行结果，最快一周，贺绍强夫妇将可领回自己的女儿。
飞来控诉惹祸
据报道，1995年，中国重庆大学的英语教师贺绍强前往美国亚利桑那州大学读研究生，后来他又转往田纳西州孟菲斯大学攻读经济学博士。1998年，他的新婚妻子罗秦来到美国，然而罗秦来美后不久，贺绍强就卷入了一起带有诬告性质的性骚扰官司，尽管贺绍强后来被证明无罪，他却因此丢掉了奖学金和一份兼职工作，失去生活来源的贺绍强夫妇顿时陷入了生活困境中，此时罗秦已经怀孕，尽管生活艰辛，但夫妇俩仍然决定将孩子生下来。
当女儿贺梅1999年1月28日早产出生时，贺绍强夫妇已经欠下了沉重的债务，根本没钱抚养体弱的女儿。就在此时，一家美国教会将他们介绍给了当地一个白人家庭——杰瑞·贝克和路易丝·贝克夫妇。贺绍强夫妇与他们签了一个3个月的临时寄养协议，说好等他们生活条件好转时，就将孩子领回。
女儿寄养变抛弃
然而3个月过去后，贺氏夫妇的经济条件并没有好转迹象。贺绍强夫妇1999年6月随贝克夫妇到当地的谢尔比县青少年法庭上续签了一个临时抚养协议。一到法庭，贝克夫妇就向罗秦出示了一份起草好的协议书，英文不好的罗秦在协议上稀里糊涂签下了自己的名字，她不知道的是，贝克夫妇已在协议上设置了一个“陷阱”：尽管合同内容仍是“临时抚养”，但却没有注明具体的抚养期限。这份协议签后不久，贝克夫妇找种种理由阻止罗秦来看望女儿。
2000年5月，贺家正式向法院提出要求，要收回孩子的抚养权，一个月后法官做出判决，拒绝了贺家的请求。2001年4月9日，罗秦再次正式向法院提出，要求收回贺梅的抚养权，6月6日法院开庭。开庭前两天，贝克家突然转向曼菲斯高等法院提出要求，控告贺绍强夫妇遗弃贺梅，请求剥夺贺绍强与罗秦的父母权，并要求正式收养贺梅。2002年2月份，高等法院法官亚历山德拉托斯，将贺梅的法定监护权判给贝克家，也禁止贺绍强、罗秦与贺梅进行任何接触。
我使馆大力援助
在这个时候，美国律师西格尔表示愿意免费帮贺家打官司。这一案件也引起了华盛顿中国大使馆的关注。中国大使馆多次写信给田纳西最高法院法官、曼菲斯高等法院法官和移民局官员，表示会维护中国公民在美国受到平等对待的权益。来自舆论庞大的压力，加上西格尔率领的义务律师团，以及包括中国大使馆在内的华人团体协助，曼菲斯高等法院法官亚历山德拉托斯史无前例地因为被指控不公而被迫在2003年底下台。
但2004年5月14日，曼菲斯地区巡回法院法官钱德斯做出判决，不但把贺梅的监护权判给贝克夫妇，同时也同意贝克家的要求，剥夺贺绍强与罗秦的父母权。法官在判决书中说，贝克家的生活条件明显的更适合贺梅成长，贺家夫妇与贺梅之间也缺乏有意义的亲子关系。
贺家继续上诉。2005年11月23日，美国田纳西州上诉法庭维持曼菲斯巡回法庭在2004年5月的一审判决。2006年1月，贺氏夫妇向田纳西州高等法院提出上诉，并最终打赢了官司。
举家团圆回中国
贺绍强胜诉后表示，在过去3年中，贺梅的养父母贝克夫妇没有让他们见女儿一面，也没有给过他们一张女儿的照片。他目前最大的心愿就是在女儿1月28日生日的时候将女儿领回，亲手抱一抱她。官司结束后，他们将马上返回中国。
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